1. President Obama is excited because he is in the homeland of one of his heroes…Mahatma Gandhi. This is in great contrast to our last two Presidents…whose heroes were John Holmes and Shemp.
2. A woman, 30-year-old Chen Wei-yi, married herself in Taiwan yesterday because she couldn’t find a suitable man. I probably should have married myself when I was 13…since I consummated that relationship around that time…
3. President Obama said today in India, “I am hunting down the place where I was born…er…uh…a couple places I visited when I was growing up…”
4. The Detroit Lions found a completely new way to lose today. After at least 50 years of misery, it really leaves “oversleeping” as the only way left on the list that they haven’t tried.
5. Charlie Sheen is upset with society bothering him about his recent issues. He asked, “Can’t a guy have bad night?” Judging Charlie Sheen by his “one bad night” would be like saying the Detroit Lions were bad just because of “one bad game.”
And Just to continue with the “football” theme…
6. Brett Favre threw for a record number of yards in today’s game against the Cardinals. But, despite repeated interviews with the press, he is still well short of his record number of “passes” he set as a member of the NY Jets.