1. I passed through my first TSA body scanner today. I made sure that I was “chubbed up” before I passed through.
2. While I was standing in the airport x-ray today with all of my “glory” on display, I heard the TSA supervisor tell a subordinate to get the eight year old boy out of the scanner.
3. I found a way to sue the TSA about this x-ray stuff.
When I was coming out of the scanner, I started screaming, “IT SHRUNK!!! IT SHRUNK!!!! YOU SHRUNK MY D*CK!!!”
The agent responded that it wasn’t possible…until the “pat down” that resulted in the hand-check of my business.
All I said was, “I rest my case.”
4. Today, Ireland announced that they are considering taking money from the EU because of debt they cannot repay. But borrowing money to get yourself out of debt is like giving an alcoholic a drink. Evidently neither of these concepts register well with the Irish.
5. Leonardo DiCaprio was one of the Delta flights that was in trouble mid-flight last night. Unlike “Titanic” though, he couldn’t just go to his trailer after the director yelled “Cut!” He just went into the bathroom since he soiled himself.