Maybe it is the end of a couple of large projects at work or the start of the basketball season for area school children we coordinate, but i have been in a writing slump this week.
I sat down this evening to write, but “nothing really happened”…kind of like anyone born before 1950 if Viagra or Cialis.
But, there is nothing like a gathering of celebrities to get me back on track…so let’s write while the Golden Globes are on my television.
1. Christian Bale won the Golden Globe this evening for “Best Supporting Actor.” To celebrate he screamed at three union electricians for standing too close to him and punched Ricky Gervais in the face.
2. Steve Buscemi won two Golden Globe awards this evening. One for “Best Actor” for his role in “Boardwalk Empire” and the other for becoming famous despite resembling 80% of the men on the Sex Offender Register.
3. Justin Bieber was on hand to present the award for Best Animated Feature Film, but escaped quickly as Madonna battled with Brad and Angelina in an attempt to adopt him.
4. Stallone?!?!??! They better not leave him on stage very long!!!! He might melt.
5. Presenting was the only way Stallone was getting on stage tonight.
6. I think Al Pacino just thanked Jack Kevorkian. At Pacino’s age, he might not want to do that.
Is it possible that Pacino and Buscemi were separated at birth?
7. Keeping Sylvester Stallone under those lights for a long time might not be a good idea…something is melting off of his face. But that is the ONLY way he is getting on the stage this season.
8. Wonders if that blotch on Megan Fox’s arm was put there to cover up a tattoo..or a chlamydia flair-up?
9. When is Natalie Portman getting a boob job?
10. Although it is good to see that Tim Allen isn’t putting cocaine up his nose any longer, it looks like he hasn’t met a piece of fried chicken he didn’t shove in his throat.
11. The director of “Glee” thanked public school teachers for doing the hardest job on the planet, but I would like to disagree…someone had to be tasked with making sure Jeff Bridges made it on the set of True Grit every day.
12. Ricky Gervais let Sandra Bullock off the hook. Maybe he was taken back stage for almost and hour making sure he didn’t say…
a. “at least she is better at driving a bus than she must be in the sack”
b. “they had to cover up Megan Fox’s tattoos because they reminded Sandra of her ex-husband.”
c. The only thing that could stop me from more Sandra Bullock jokes is the appearance of Michael Douglas.
13. Michael Douglas sounds like he needs to clear his throat.