Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | February 28, 2011

Life is Funnier than Fiction 2-28-11

There are times at work, when I am expected to break the monotony of the day with humor.   More often than not, things are only funny to me…so maybe I am just breaking the monotony of MY day…

Regardless of what, or why, I do what I do…this is what happened.

I walked into the purchasing agent’s office to order some materials for a project of mine after he returned from his normal afternoon nap in his car.   These naps are a regular occurrence.   They happen everyday and even people he only deals with on the phone know not to try to call him from 12:30 to 1:30pm everyday.

One of our regular suppliers called while I was mid-conversation with the purchasing agent in his office…he answered on the speaker phone. 

(*What you need to understand is that this is a conversation between three people who talk about 20 times day on the telephone.  I am not normally included in these conversations.)

Purchasing Agent:  What do you want?

Supplier:  You called me earlier.

Purchasing Agent:  So?

Supplier:  I tried calling you back at about 1pm, but you were out taking your daily nap.

Me:  Napping?!?!  Is that what he tells everyone?   You know he really out there masturbating?

The supplier laughs loudly…and hysterically.   This was odd because it really wasn’t that funny.

Purchasing Agent:  What’s so funny?

Supplier (seriously):  I can normally only do that during the weekend.

(*At this time, I am conducting an interview.)

Me (sarcastically and fighting laughter):  Only during the weekend?

Supplier: Yeah,  I don’t have time during the week.

Me:  What kind of time do you need?

Supplier:  Things have to be just right?

Me:  There is nothing romantic in just banging one out, right?

Supplier: Exactly.

Me:  Taking a hot bath and lighting candles works, huh?

Supplier:  I never tried candles.

Me:  You should, it is soothing.

Supplier:  I’ll try it this weekend.

Me:  Do me a favor?

Supplier:  What?

Me:  Please don’t think about me.

Supplier:  I’ll try not to.

Me:  Thanks.


  1. Funny stuff! The romantic masturbation scenario reminded me of a story from a guy about his self-love session that he told me while at the gym of all places.

  2. I admit to Lol on that one. “I never tried candles.”

    Life. Funnier than fiction indeed.

  3. Lord love a duck. Once when I was a pup mail carrier, I opened the door of a business on my route to see more than what I wanted to see of the proprietor, who was sitting at his desk and looking right at me. I usually put the mail through the slot, but on this day he had a big package. And that is what I blurted out. Oh, yes, I did.

  4. Funny! Watch your back. The purchasing agent may be looking for a little good-natured payback.

  5. *snort* that is too funny!

  6. Was the Supplier a man or a woman?

    • We aren’t allowed to be male or female at our office…we sign papers saying we wont notice anybodies boobs or vaginas.

  7. Nice to see that some people can find the humor in such a conversation instead of jumping to a sexual harassment conclusion.

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