Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | April 12, 2011

2011 Unknown Budget Cuts

Driving inspires me…

  1. Fewer hookers for Representatives, but sex with interns is allowed again.
  2. A chicken in every pot replaced with some bullion in a cup.
  3. Playing Easter Bunny in annual Easter Egg Hunt added to Joe Biden’s duties.
  4. Out- Home concerts with Paul McCartney. In- Home movies with Paul Rubens.
  5. Congressional Toilet Paper replaced with unread copies of Declaration of Independence.
  6. Joe Biden’s daily train rides replaced with rickshaw pulled by “undocumented aliens.”
  7. Kleenex limit enforced on John Boehner
  8. Nancy Pelosi’s make up artist replaced by guy fired from “Cake Boss.”
  9. Congressional gourmet coffee secretly replaced with Folgers
  10. Conrad Murray hired on to care for elderly Supreme Court Justices
  11. Medicare replaced with I-Dont-Care.
  12.  Wars in the Middle East to be relocated somewhere in the Midwest.


  1. I love this. You are a genius. That is all.

    • To quote the briliant Billy Madison, “I am the smartest man alive.” Or a least at this desk. 😦

  2. You make a very good point about the Middle East conflicts to the Midwest. I can’t imagine how much that war is costing from just the travel. Shipping both personnel, supplies and equipment back and forth has to be really expensive, especially with the high price of oil today.

  3. Or wars could be resolved at Wrestlemania – they would make money instead of costing!

    • Excellent. We’d still have to do them here. Our wrestlers couldn’t get their steroids through customs.

  4. LOL… Cant stand John Boehner, i think he has some emotional issues. I have seen him in 3 interviews CRIED in everyone of them. Can we replace Boehner with Pee Wee Herman this way we can cut down on the Kleenex and hookers altogether…although gotta add money for jergens lotion…Trump and Biden for Pres and VP…one is lost and the other can get lost….zman sends

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