- This is 7-11-11, which makes it the annual “Free Slurpee Day.” Or better known in our house, the “I Have to get Footprints off the Ceiling Night.
- Two out of every three Americans believe Casey Anthony is guilty. This isn’t saying much since two out of every three Americans don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom.
- Kobe Bryant’s dad was named coach of the WNBA Los Angeles team. This isn’t nepotism. It happens all of the time. Lebron’s mom is expected to be announced as the new parking coordinator for the Miami Heat.
- Roger Clemens trial is beginning. After abandoning his “Glove Fitting” defense after repeating TV coverage showed him wearing it, he is expected to adopt the “Father abused me and it could have been the meter guy” Defense.
- Tiger Woods was expected to announce today that he was getting a sex change operation LPGA tour.
- Try this one…Tiger Woods cancelled his morning press conference. Evidently he is going to wait to make his announcement on Maury.
- President Obama stressed he need fora speedy resolution to the Budget Crisis since the NFL season is coming back. He could be heard as he left the podium saying “Go Bears! Go Bengals! Go Dolphins! Is there a team in Missouri?” (This is an obscure “swing State” reference.)