I see Oprah in the news, it makes me want to talk about it. I guess I need to get back into the habit of joke writing again…and the iPad just makes this too easy.
1. In response to a GOP debate question where panel members indicated they would be in favor, President Obama countered by saying Waterboarding was not a method the United States would use to get information from terrorists. He also ruled out sitting through Adam Sandler’s “Jack and Jill.”
2. The Congressional Super-Committee charged with fixing the economy is running out of time to come up with a solution. They are down to nine days and their “winning the lottery” plan has only gotten them $20 and three free scratch off tickets.
3. After the recent success by the Detroit Lions, stadium officials, in an attempt not to spoil Detroit residents with winners, want to ensure a loser is in the stadium on Thanksgiving Day. So…Nickelback has been signed to perform at halftime.
4. Black Sabbath releasing new album. If Lou Reed and Metallica can get someone to put out their album, anything is possible.
5. Oprah received honorary Oscar for her charitable work. She was disappointed when she found out that she couldn’t Super Size it.