Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | May 28, 2012

Greece Jumping to Conference USA


ATHENS, Greece- After months of debate, Greece has announced that it will be leaving the EU and joining  Conference USA for the 2013 sport seasons.

The move brings a potential net income increase of 123% to Greece’s GNP using projected revenue streams from the historic basketball and football data of conference schools

Forming one half of super conference with University of Alabama at Birmingham, University of Central Florida, East Carolina, Marshall, University of Memphis and Southern Mississippi, Greece will expect to begin playing a 50% USA Conference schedule about a year from now with Greece having to secure the other games themselves to be bowl and tournament eligible.

Making scheduling more difficult for Greece, Macedonia and Moldovia were both denied access into Conference USA and are expected to accept invitations to the CAA conference after Old Dominion announced their departure.

When asked about having to play all of their games on the road because of potential scheduling issues, Greek Prime Minister Panagiotis Pikrammenos said, “We really don’t have a problem with the road games since the utilities won’ be turned back on to our athletic facilities until our Conference checks clear.”

Academically, Greece’s looks to be on equal footing with the other Conference USA schools and will actually have to loosen the standards on their English program since the Greek Students actually out perform their American counterparts in English.

The clincher for Greece’s entry into the Conference turned out to be their stance on hazing.  Greece has firmly enforced its’ Anti-hazing program since the Ottoman Period.

Greek General Secretary of Sports Panos Bitsaxis isn’t too concerned about competing in athletic events with the elite American athletes, “I understand we will be at a disadvantage until we can get some Title IX support for some of the lesser known sports like chariot racing, full nude wrestling and rock tossing included in their programs.”

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