1. Ann Curry announces new role at NBC…wheeling the recycling out of the roll up door on Thursdays.
2. Ann Curry didn’t get fired. She’s just “Taking her talents” to the mail room.
3. Individual Mandate upheld!!! Triple Cheeseburgers, gravy and Lipitor for everyone!!!
4. “I’ll rule in favor of your law if you uninvite Biden to my summer barbecue for me. His hair plugs eff up my pool filters.” – Chief Justice Roberts
5. BREAKING: Secret Service classifies Biden’s trip as a ‘Campaign Tour,’ which translates to “he’s escaped and didn’t take his medication.”
6. I can resume poisoning my neighbors with a clear conscious now that I know they can all go and get doctors’ care.