Some news days are better than others…I decided to stop at five so I could get something productive done…or not.
1. Morgan Stanley officials say not to be alarmed that they’re cutting 6% of their staff…those being let go are just unhealthy people that are driving up their insurance costs
2. Rapper Shawty Lo is drawing criticism for his new reality show about him fathering eleven kids with 10 different women. He has responded by stating that he didn’t realize that he was having sex with the same woman two different times.
3. The city of Aurora, Illinois has announced that they will offer $500 bonuses if the city has a murder free year. As a result, Officers are starting a unique ‘Ride Program’ of corpses to Chicago.
4. Saudi Arabian officials have allowed a divorce between a 86 year old man and a 15 year old girl. The same officials deny that any correspondence between the girl and Roman Polanski had anything to do with the separation.
5. An exchange and release of over 2000 prisoners between Syria, Turkey and Iran this morning has caused a great fluctuation on the balance of power. Vegas now has the terrorist line at +3.