Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | February 11, 2013

Papal Retirement; A Comedy Gift Horse


Some days, gifts are just dropped on your lap.

Like an early morning Papal resignation.   The task is to keep it PG-13 and try to stay away from the Pedophile angle…within reason.

 

 Image

1.    After an amazing Christmas performance, Pope Benedict exercises the opt out clause in his contract. Mormons expected to be leading suitor.

2.  Pope Benedict realizing his dream & filling a needed role of divine intervention as non-roster invitee as Houston Astros middle reliever.

3.  Oddly enough, the list of organization on Pope Benedict’s Non-Comp list includes NAMBLA.

4.  It’s alright Pope, there comes a time when all of us realize that our ‘duties’ would be better performed by a younger, more energetic man.

5.  Now, Pope Benedict, we also saw the promo for Kate Upton’s SI Swimsuit Issue, but you’ll probably need to fix the ‘energy’ thing for her too…

6.  Since no sitting Pope has been replaced in 400 years, I’m pretty sure the new one has to pull a sword out of a big rock or something.

7.  Posturing for Papal Inauguration singer already underway. Jay-Z hints Andrea Bocelli isn’t really blind.

Image

8.  New candidate platform already being written taking the Catholic Church back to its’ founding principles…Less Bible; More Alcohol.

9.  I wish my wife would’ve listened to me and not thrown out my Cardinal Benedict rookie trading card over the weekend…the value of that thing has to be skyrocketing.

10.  This is all about dollars, that Papal Retirement plan has been sitting for over 400 years gathering interest.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Reblogged this on Tardis Island.

  2. the last are pure genius

  3. I need to dispute #8. A true Catholic would know that Catholics don’t know the Bible!

    Did you have trouble stopping at 10?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: