Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | January 15, 2014

Off My Medication 1-15-14


1.  Despite the denial of a secret deal in exchange for an agreement to taper their nuclear program, indications are that the Obama Administration has finalized the nuclear deal by throwing in ship full of Velveeta before the Superbowl.
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2.  While promoting his new movie, Ice Cube was asked to address South Central Community leaders about issues in his hometown, he responded with, “South Central is east of Beverly Hills, right?”
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3.  After the manufacturer refused to supply the department of corrections the cocktail of drugs used for executions in Ohio, an inmate is scheduled to put to death using a brand new method tomorrow.    The inmate will be placed in a room with a speaker and forced to listen to a looped feed of Kanye West interviews.   In the corner of the room, there will be a single 2 x 4 with one nail in the end.
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4.  The Munich Zoo’s twin polar bear cubs gave onlookers a surprise this week as they came out of their cave and opened their eyes for the first time.   Unfortunately, they saw David Hasselhoff and now Germany has at least three more years in the EU.
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5.     The Colorado Springs airport has installed amnesty boxes for pot users.  In an unrelated story, the Colorado Springs Airport Employee Union has ordered a brand new Funyuns dispenser.
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Responses

  1. The Kanye punishment is cruel and unusual, even for someone sentenced to death.

    And since you posted that particular picture of “The Hoff,” could you please pass me the 2 x 4 with the nail?


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