Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | November 17, 2014

Off My Medication 11-17-14


Amazon is promoting a personalized letter from Santa.  For $13 your child can get a handwritten letter from a dude sitting in his underwear in his mom’s basement.
Alaskan researchers report that they witnessed seals sexually assaulting penguins while being studied.  When asked about the assaults, the seals merely shook their heads, ignoring the questions.
U2 front man Bono injured his arm in a Central Park cycling accident and now needs surgery, forcing him to cancel his appearance on The Tonight Show.   Bill Cosby was seen throwing himself down a flight of stairs trying to get out of his Letterman appearance this week.
Hannibal Burress finally received the celebrated ‘anti-blue’ message from Bill Cosby, except his wasn’t a phone call like every other black comedian.  His was taped to the brick that flew through this window.
DEA agents conducted surprise inspections of NFL medical staff since the agents have free weekends now that so many states have abolished their marijuana laws. 
Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | November 12, 2014

Off My Medication 11-12-14


BBC News is reporting that German tourists were accused this week of stealing ancient artifacts from an Egyptian great pyramid.  They would’ve gotten away with it if they hadn’t burned their hands on a hot medallion that fell into a roaring fire.
CNN Headline News personality Nancy Grace being sued for falsely accusing a ‘selfie stalker’ on her show.    Her attorneys are arguing that it really isn’t defamation since no one was actually watching her show.
On day one of President Obama’s trip to China, the United States reached an agreement for China to reduce emissions goals five years after the United States, or, according to ‘Joe Biden Math,’ exactly at the same time.

A New Jersey lawmaker said on Monday that he doesn’t want Atlantic City to “become Detroit.”   Which is like a crack addict saying “at least I’m not on heroin.”
You ever have that guy who hangs out for too long at your place?   Sure, he was cool for a while and had these neat little quirky sayings…like a decade earlier…but still thinks they’re cool today.  Randy Jackson announced today that he’s leaving American Idol.
Microsoft announced that Technicians worked out the nineteen issues with Software that they’ve been battling for 19 years.   They were waiting for the kids to get old enough so they could handle the truth.
Iran indicated that they responded to the letters they received from the U.S. Government last week, but that President Obama didn’t bother picking them up from the Iranian personal courier, Vladimir Putin, when they met today.
Everyone celebrating the Rosetta Comet Mission except for the four dweebs that effed up the harpoon system. They’ll probably just tell their grandkids that they worked on the solar panels.
A Montana man wants to rebrand the Ku Klux Klan as a nicer, more diverse organization that allows black members.  He’s planning to call his group ‘The Republican Party.’
Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | November 10, 2014

Off My Medication 11-10-14


FBI crime statistics released today show that Detroit had the highest homicide rate among the nation’s big cities in 2013.   Detroit officials responded by saying, “We aren’t THAT big.”
A former University of North Carolina football player filed a lawsuit over the university faking classes and grades that never actually existed depriving him of an education…or at least he went to the courthouse to file suit, but mistakenly just ended up applying for a barber’s license.
Michelle Obama has already come out against America’s favorite meat…bacon.  And, today, President Obama took the firm position against high speed Internet confirming that someone is poisoning the White House water supply.
The U.S. Postal Service confirmed today that it has been victimized by a security intrusion into their communication system making Russian hackers the first to find a way to infect a rotary phone.
Leaders of China and Japan met during an Asian Summit and exchange an awkward handshake and even they couldn’t tell which one of them was Chinese and which was Japanese.
Due to the accidental poisoning of American children mistaking newly designed laundry detergent pods for candy, manufacturers are scrambling to make packaging less appealing to kids.  They are now placing a photo of their local Catholic parish priest on each pod.

An overhaul of the Pizza Hut menu is in the works.  They are hoping ‘ginger’ and ‘curry’ crusts might reverse their recent U.S. sales slide.   Maybe they should consider a Mountain Fresh flavor.
Government officials are hoping to avoid the HealthCare.gov sign up problems of last year by turning over operations to those most familiar with the inner workings of the American Internet…Russian hackers.
It isn’t just the Jewish population upset at Nicki Minaj about her new video “Only” use of Nazi imagery.  The Dictator’s Union has released a statement bashing the unrealistic video because that no maniacal leader could ever have an ass that would distract people from their tyranny.
Three more people were arrested by Fort Lauderdale police for violating a new city ordinance restricting groups from feeding the homeless outside.  Fort Lauderdale officials insist they’re just trying to beat San Antonio in the Homeless Biggest Loser contest.
After bombarding our TVs weather broadcasts with talk of the Polar Vortex for the entire winter of 2103, meteorologist are now correcting everyone saying last years crushing winter wasn’t the Polar Vortex…and what we are getting ready to get hit with won’t be the Polar Vortex either.  Thanks, meteorologists, for making me have to sit through the ‘smartest guy in the office’ repeating all the new crap you’re calling it this year.
Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | November 9, 2014

Off My Medication 11-9-14


1.  The worlds top badminton player, Lee Chong Wei, failed two doping test and is banned from competition, but he’ll still be eligible to join the ladder ball circuit.
2.  George Takei  announced that he is ‘coming out’ for Hillary in 2016.  He’s just running out of stuff to come out for now.
3. Andy Dick was arrested last night and charged grand theft.  He’s accused of stealing a necklace from someone on the street, but he is claiming that he just borrowed for a party because it matched his broach.
 4. After the ill fated test vehicle crash, concerned passengers are asking for Virgin Spacecraft trip refunds.  They plan to do something less dangerous…like wrap themselves in raw meat suits and wrestle sharks in a swimming pool.
 5. A North Carolina minister has used his $100 “Never Ending Pasta Pass” from Olive Garden to eat 95 meals in the past six weeks.   He’s also put the ‘Gluttony’ sermon on hold since he’ll be spending some ‘never-ending’ time in the bathroom.
 6.  Two Americans being held in North Korea were suddenly sent home after winning a bet with Kim Jong Un that, no matter how much it seemed like they got along, Dennis Rodman wouldn’t even give him a re-tweet after getting back to the states.
7.  After years of speculation, Bill Cosby’s art collection was finally displayed at the Smithsonian Art Museum.  But visitors were disappointed to discover that his collection is comprised of 250 chocolate Popsicle sticks and his pudding sculptures titled ‘Pasture Patties of the Midwest.’
Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | November 7, 2014

Off My Medication 11-7-14


1.  President Obama tried to write a secret letter to Iranian leader Ayatollah Khamenei about their fight against common foes.   Advisers managed to remove references to Senate Republicans, but left in the part about Islamic State militants.   The letter was a tightly held secret until the President had to ask how many stamps he needed for Standard Rate postage to Iran.

2.  Jon Stewart is taking some heat this week after he said, in a CNN interview, that he didn’t vote and then recanted later in the day saying that he was just kidding and actually did vote.   The Comedy Central ‘The Daily Show’ host is hoping to distract everyone by putting out a really shitty movie that everyone will hate.

 3.  Lincoln is attributing an increase in automobile sales following a series of Saturday Night Live parody skits last week of their Matthew McConaughey ads starring Jim Carrey.  Chevy, though, may have miscalculated this week by filming a series of Amanda Bynes commercials.

4.  Trying to capitalize on the success of the Lincoln car advertisements starring Matthew McConaughey, Crack has signed up Amanda Bynes.

 5.  The FBI is defending an agent impersonating an Associated Press reporter to lure a suspect out of hiding.   They’re saying that if criminals dumb enough to believe that there are still paid reporters walking around, then they get what they deserve.

6.  Despite a nearly impossible plot continuation after Toy Story 3 had Woody being given to another owner, the announcement came yesterday that Toy Story 4 will be released mid-2017.   Producers indicated that they didn’t find the plot too difficult to develop from atop their huge pile of cash.

 7.  I can sympathize with Ex-Navy Seal Robert O’Neill stepping forward and not wanting someone to take credit for killing Bin Laden.  There was  this one time we had a Secret Santa gift exchange and someone else was trying to take credit for the $25 Ikea gift card.

8. Sears stock prices jumped today after it was reported that someone under the age of 30 actually considered entering one of their stores.

 9.  With November upon us, radio stations are beginning to play Christmas music just in time to quench my thirst for a Johnny Mathis and Susan Boyle duet.

 10.  President Obama and congressional leaders hold cross-party talks with House and Senate leaders aimed at ending political gridlock and clearing up the near impossible task of clearing up confusion plaguing Washington.  If they prove they can do that, then maybe they can help me figure out the ending of Lost after all these years. 

 11.  An unnamed White House source confirmed that someone form the Brooklyn U.S. Attorney’s Office, Loretta Lynch, will be the next U.S. Attorney General ending her promising career as ‘Black Loretta Lynn.’

 12.  Russian President Vladimir Putin, says not to worry about the column of 32 Russian military vehicles and 16 howitzers cruising across the Russian border into Ukraine today, they’re just filming a Matthew McConaughey parody commercial.

 13.  ESPN is reporting that Tennessee Titans team president Tommy Smith says coach Whisenhunt and GM Webster are safe, adding their names to the ‘safe list’ which includes anyone who plays against the Tennessee Titans.

Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | May 14, 2014

Click! Episode 3 “Wax on, Wax off”


This episode is what happens when four men get together on Skype…not that we were doing THIS when we came up with this one.

Well…maybe one of us could’ve been…but I’ll never tell who.

Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | May 7, 2014

Web Series


This Web Series is a project we put together a while ago and the episodes are just coming out for viewing.

It was a great experience and the 1st time I’d written (or been a part of a team writing) that had been filmed…after a few years of working writing and performing for/with stage comedians.

We have four more episodes filmed and a lot of people spent a lot of time and money putting this together. The thing I learned from this is that it is better to do something instead of thinking about doing it…take the leap.

Make something happen.

Take a look at this episode and pass it around if you think it is worthy.

We had fun doing it and I made a lot of friends during the process.

Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | May 5, 2014

Homeschooled: The Animated Series “The Robot” Part 3 of 3


The final installment of the 2nd episode…”The Robot.” The real life family had to overcome some technical and schedule issues to get this episode out of the door. But, as any homeschooling family knows, life keeps moving….so here we are. 😉

Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | April 30, 2014

Click! The Web Series Episode 1


You don’t see my name until almost the end of the credits, but I was fortunate enough to be included on the writing team for this web series out of Baltimore. More episodes to follow.

Posted by: Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket | April 28, 2014

TWO DAYS TIL THE PREMIERE!


Two days until the Premiere,

CLICK! the web series

Click - 2 til premiere v2

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