TURLOCK, CA – Ousted Ex-President of the California Botanical Society, Edith Spinkenreather, broke ranks with fellow botanists yesterday after a dispute about her position paper on summer fruit season pH balancing resulted in her recall election loss.
Frustrated with the entire Botanical Society, Mrs. Spinkenreather revealed the earth shattering news that there is actually no such thing as a Boysenberry.
She said, in her statement to reporters while holding her cats outside of her studio apartment Turlock, ” What everyone calls a Boysenberry, is actually just a raspberry soaked in a mixture of HGH (Human Growth Hormone) and sugar water.”
When asked why she purported the existence of the Boysenberry, Mrs. Spinkenreather stated, “I was under pressure my Sophomore year to get my Vitas final and I’d spent most of my time perfecting my Cannabis plants so I had to do something during an all-nighter.”
The California Botanical Society has had a stranglehold on Boysenberry production for the last 20 years and refused to make a statement regarding today’s revelation.
Mrs. Spinkenreather’s revelation regarding the Boysenberry calls into question her repeated Sasquatch sightings.